Hello, My Name Is...

In my life, meeting new people and/or making new friends are some of the most awkward times ever. When everyone was in elementary school, making friends was easy because no one cared what anyone thought of them, they were just themselves. One minute two kids are complete strangers, the next, they are playing on the swings as if they've been best friends forever. I was just like every other person in elementary school, making new friends every day.

I think self esteem and confidence play a huge role when it comes to making new friends. When middle school rolled around I started to become more and more self-concious, like many other girls and guys at my age. Puberty starts to hit and everyone has their "awkward phase" at some point. 8th grade was about the time I began to see myself in a different light than I used to. I started comparing my looks to the others around me, wishing I had the same certain features they did. I believe this self-conciousness took a toll on my willingness to branch out and meet new friends, or open up to a relationship.

Middle school was a big step from elementary school. Middle school was the time where girls and guys started to "like" each other, and the "dating" had begun. We saw ourselves as more mature, mature enough to have a two or three week relationship with someone you never saw anywhere but school. When dating begins, drama follows closely behind. Cliques and groups of friends slowly began forming around the end of middle school.

In high school, I became more and more self concious. I knew how easily rumors can start and spread, so I felt like every day as I walked down the hall everyone was watching my every move-- almost judging me, if you will. I almost felt as if I had to fit the perfect description of a typical high school student for others to like me. Yeah, I still had my friends from Middle School, but everyone wants to branch out in high school. Of course, being the young teenage girl that I was, I especially wanted to meet guys. Looking around at other girls, I wasn’t the skinniest girl ever, which made me even more self conscious. I wanted boys to like me, but I thought they wouldn't unless I was perfect.

All of these things kept adding up, and I became the shyest I've ever been my whole life. In person, I hardly ever talk to people I'm not close friends with, afraid they'll think I'm stupid or annoying. But on the phone or on the computer, I'm not shy at all. One of these days I've got to train myself to be a more outgoing person, before I seclude myself from all of society.