Senior Year 2009

I must say I'm starting to catch the Senioritis, too early in the year. Last year I had terrible grades, and I'm pretty sure I had Senioritis. This past term, I worked my hardest, and managed to punch out mostly A's. Even though I'm accepted in to the colleges I'd like to be, I still do my schoolwork like it actually means something. To be honest, at this point my grades pretty much don't matter. They still mean something to me, and I think that's what keeps me actually doing my homework.

I'm the type of person who hates rejection, and any form of rejection. Yeah, I hate relationship rejection, but that's not what I'm getting at. I hate everything bad. I feel bad when people are mean to old people, I hate when I do something wrong at work, and I hate getting bad grades. I don't like getting bad grades because my parents and teachers are disappointed in me, and for some reason I can't stand that. I keep telling myself that I won't care, but when the time comes, I really do end up caring. I don't know what's wrong with me.. Do I care too much and I focus too much on details? I don't know.

But now second term is about halfway over, and I'm starting to feel the urge to not do my homework. I know basically my grades at this point don't matter as much as last year's, but I still want to succeed. It's almost as if I have the angel and devil on each shoulder, each telling me a way to go with my schoolwork. At this point, I'm just trying to pass.